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Four ☯ Stars

Pawns

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This is in regards to some issues in my personal life that have been happening for a very long time, I don't wish to go into much more detail aside from that.

As a whole, pawns mainly exist for the purpose of being tossed aside, and forgotten. Sure, some may be used to capture a piece or two, but at the end of the day, they are to serve the chess master for a few moves, and then sacrificed, nothing more. To only be there to be controlled and disposed of, comparable to that of a puppet. On rare occasions, a pawn may make it to see the game's end, but more likely than not were merely there by pure chance, and not as much of an asset as the other pieces remaining.

Sometimes a pawn may become another piece entirely if they reach the other side of the board, albeit a piece already lost. Now they may have more of a purpose, but at the costing of needing to change what made them them. Typically, the chess master cares so little for pawns that this nearly never happens, and even when it does they have still cast aside the pawns for one more meaningful.

A question never explored is how a pawn would feel about all of this. To exist solely for benefiting others for a small time, then ultimately having the fate of being disposed of when no longer useful. How does that feel? Do they fight to be of use to the chess master still, or merely accept their destinies? Do they struggle to see it to the end and become something new, or conform to the normal functions of their kind and wait to be tossed or replaced? And how do they see their master, do they still give it their all to serve them, or resent them and become hurt by what they truly are to the chess master? I know none of these answers truthfully, though I am sure of one thing;

In many ways, I am a pawn myself. Trying and failing to be of use to the chess master, and either having to change who I am or be rid of. I wish to have purpose in this game, but in the end it seems I am nothing more than another mere pawn.

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